Monday, February 25, 2013

Attracting Back An Ex - Don't Make These Fatal Mistakes

Attracting Back An Ex  -  Don\'t Make These Fatal Mistakes

Attracting back an ex is actually quite easy if you learn some things about human psychology and how the opposite sex behaves after a break up. You see, we have a tendency to do all of the wrong things after a break up because we act upon emotions. This is the wrong thing to do. Most people act on impulse when they have been hurt - it is only natural.

If you want to attract an ex back then you have to stop what you are doing right now because it obviously isn't working. A change of strategy is needed to make your ex stop viewing you in a negative way and begin seeing you as a potential romantic partner again. This is actually straightforward if you nip negative behaviours in the bud. The following things will only repel your ex from you and make them avoid you altogether. If you stay away from all of these things then you will be much more attractive to your ex and they will respect you.

Stop Stalking Your Ex - They Will Think You Are Unhinged And Crazy

Okay, so your idea of stalking and your ex's will probably be different after a break up. You probably think that you are doing nothing wrong when you turn up in places you know they will be just to get a glimpse of them. You think that your ex won't notice you staring at them from across the room, you are being subtle about it right? WRONG!

The problem with this is that you are only seeing things from your point of view after a break up and how it affects you. When you start putting yourself in your ex's position, you will view your behavior very differently. What you think is innocent and secretive behaviour, your ex will see as stalking.

You may think that your ex doesn't notice you at all, but this is rarely true. Your ex's emotions will be heightened after the break up too and they will also be sensitive to everything that you do. Even if you think that they don't care about you anymore the ego is a powerful thing. They will want to see how you are doing without them, if you still have feelings for them - you don't just suddenly disappear from their life and are wiped from their memory.

This stalking also applies to the virtual realm. With social media sites like Facebook, it is all too easy to online stalk your ex and check up on what they are doing and who they are doing it with. This is only natural and you are not ready to let go. This is a very dangerous path to go down however as hiding behind a computer screen lets you think that you are safe and your stalking won't be noticed. This is not true though. You will eventually slip up, get emotional about something that your ex posted and lash out. Then your ex will know that you have been watching their wall and be turned off by your desperation.

If you want to attract back your ex you have to pretend that you don't care about what it going on in their lives. You must seem like you have moved on and that you are too busy to stalk them and vie for their attention. Seems counter-intuitive right? This is a very effective psychological strategy that will make your ex sit up and take notice of you again. They will start seeing you as attractive now that you are seemingly not interested in them anymore.

It is a subtle game of push and pull and playing hard to get which creates the attraction, much like how it was before you two got together. You want to recreate these feelings of excitement and mystery to make your ex realise that they are not over you yet and that they still have feelings for you. Therefore, when you avoid the whole stalking trap you are subconsciously pulling your ex back towards you - it is just a matter of self-control.

Stop Calling Your Ex - They Will Ignore You

It gets scary when you think that your ex is forgetting you and moving on with their life. You think that if you call or text them they will somehow remember you and want you back. This is NOT the case though. The more you call your ex the more they will get annoyed and will eventually ignore you. This will make you feel crap and make you desperate.

Instead of humiliating yourself and opening yourself up for pain and rejection, it is best to stop this negative behaviour. It is only reflecting badly on you. The more you call, the worse your ex will view you. They will want to avoid you altogether and think that you are desperate with nothing better to do than harangue them. If you think about it objectively, this type of behaviour is extremely unattractive - why would your ex want to get back together with you when you are all over them? The thrill of the chase has a lot to do with attraction. Your ex wants to chase you, so let them!

Instead of calling your ex all of the time, get out and keep busy. Your ex will miss you when you are not contacting them and they will wonder what you are up to. Mystery is also a huge part of attraction, so let your ex wonder where you are and who you are with. You are not lying to them, you are only allowing their imagination to go wild. When your ex gets worried that you are moving on before them they will make moves to win you back. They will realise that they miss you and they will be the ones that are getting in touch with you. This is what you want ultimately as you are making your ex think that getting back together was all their idea with no coercion on your part at all.

As you can see, examining your behaviour post break up will improve your chances drastically of attracting back an ex. All you have to do is to start looking at how your ex sees you. Then you implement psychological techniques to pull your ex back to you and increase attraction. Simple right?

Your Next Steps

These are only two of the things that you should be doing to attract back your ex and make your ex want you. There are so many more that you should be researching and putting into practice to speed up the reconciliation process. To get your ex back you need to know what you are doing and be prepared. A good place to start is to work out if your ex still has feelings for you. There are certain signs ex loves you, learn how to spot them and interpret what they say to know where you really stand.

Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/attracting-back-an-ex-dont-make-these-fatal-mistakes

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